I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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