If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize