There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
