He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
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