A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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