i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
I told him it was alright.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.