I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
3 2 1 whiskey
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
