I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
