Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
