Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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