And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
