is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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