So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize