WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Randomize