Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
