road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
