Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
How does it feel to date your dad?
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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