you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Randomize
