Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
