i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
25 True Facts That Sound Fake AF
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
27 Hairstyles That Always Come With A Matching Personality
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.