If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.