I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail