last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
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I miss the smell of you or some shit.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
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After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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