problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Jerry, you need to find god
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Randomize
