I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
