did you get engaged???
I hate your face
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
