I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
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