how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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