Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
