So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize