Texts From Last Night

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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  Me too. Send a cab. Order food.

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  (502): Me too. Send a cab. Order food. http://tfl.nu/uwpo
  Replies (2) Good night (1102) Bad night (494)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"

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  (440): The ticket read "Found nude in a tree" http://tfl.nu/6rf6
  Replies (48) Good night (48491) Bad night (2430)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race

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  (207): she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race http://tfl.nu/f3bd
  Replies (17) Good night (656) Bad night (3426)
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  (334): View more from Alabama

  I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.

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  (334): I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet. http://tfl.nu/qfk7
  Replies (47) Good night (1190) Bad night (4556)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling

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  (708): having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling http://tfl.nu/2wgp
  Replies (8) Good night (3185) Bad night (1200)
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  (845): View more from New York

  all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed

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  (845): all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed http://tfl.nu/tu27
  Replies (26) Good night (4789) Bad night (1471)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.

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  (304): My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires. http://tfl.nu/nxay
  Replies (14) Good night (3561) Bad night (1926)
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  (585): View more from New York

  i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place

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  (585): i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place http://tfl.nu/423p
  Replies (4) Good night (870) Bad night (1125)
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  (209): View more from California

  He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia

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  (209): He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia http://tfl.nu/8vrp
  Replies (10) Good night (735) Bad night (2028)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.

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  (304): I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything. http://tfl.nu/5k96
  Replies (16) Good night (1557) Bad night (595)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.

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  (505): All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks. http://tfl.nu/p1dl
  Replies (6) Good night (1904) Bad night (459)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.

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  (202): I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party. http://tfl.nu/j3cs
  Replies (15) Good night (689) Bad night (1383)
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  (571): View more from Virginia

  Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?

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  (571): Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you? http://tfl.nu/rje6
  Replies (13) Good night (403) Bad night (748)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking

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  (610): No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking http://tfl.nu/htwk
  Replies (5) Good night (417) Bad night (405)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon

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  (970): She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon http://tfl.nu/u33x
  Replies (0) Good night (607) Bad night (229)

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