Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
23 Insane Reasons People Got Fired
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
These 31 Gross People Really Put The ‘Trash’ In ‘Trashed’
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?