Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(440): View more from Ohio

so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"

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(510): View more from California

And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"

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(207): View more from Maine

He violated my cat. I was not impressed.

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(314): View more from Missouri

Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(863): View more from Florida

I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...

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(304): View more from West Virginia

My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me

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(703): View more from Virginia

I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review

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