Texts From Last Night

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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??

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  (603): he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward?? http://tfl.nu/1124
  Replies (22) Good night (4659) Bad night (881)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.

  (720): View more from Colorado

  Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.

  (303): View more from Colorado

  But what if I pay for the gas?

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  (303): I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain. (720): Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic. (303): But what if I pay for the gas? http://tfl.nu/j2h0
  Replies (53) Good night (1166) Bad night (7019)
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  (559): View more from California

  You realize it's finals week?

  (408): View more from California

  Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.

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  (559): You realize it's finals week? (408): Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first. http://tfl.nu/rjos
  Replies (19) Good night (6350) Bad night (932)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Say it nicely.

  (1-303): View more from Colorado

  Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?

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  (303): Say it nicely. (1-303): Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy? http://tfl.nu/5ned
  Replies (51) Good night (16530) Bad night (1389)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.

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  (404): Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption. http://tfl.nu/47c6
  Replies (24) Good night (6165) Bad night (1252)
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  (518): View more from New York

  In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.

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  (518): In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it. http://tfl.nu/q114
  Replies (10) Good night (7611) Bad night (947)
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed

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  (765): She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed http://tfl.nu/bbsg
  Replies (18) Good night (1816) Bad night (4066)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?

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  (423): I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I? http://tfl.nu/fiqy
  Replies (5) Good night (2634) Bad night (1074)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.

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  (860): My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck. http://tfl.nu/363f
  Replies (11) Good night (1769) Bad night (606)
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  (714): View more from California

  I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed

  (949): View more from California

  Someone's stooooned

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  (714): I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed (949): Someone's stooooned http://tfl.nu/d50z
  Replies (13) Good night (1913) Bad night (568)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.

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  (313): I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to. http://tfl.nu/ozzk
  Replies (7) Good night (489) Bad night (947)
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  (546): View more from

  As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.

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  (546): As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever. http://tfl.nu/al3c
  Replies (3) Good night (385) Bad night (666)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.

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  (402): On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus. http://tfl.nu/e88p
  Replies (4) Good night (933) Bad night (307)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere

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  (717): Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere http://tfl.nu/ab4x
  Replies (0) Good night (601) Bad night (288)
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year

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  (864): Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year http://tfl.nu/8srd
  Replies (1) Good night (359) Bad night (166)

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