Texts From Last Night

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  (305): View more from Florida

  3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over

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  (305) 3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over http://tfl.nu/46dm
  Replies (3) Good night (844) Bad night (2012)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.

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  (770): I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow. http://tfl.nu/s1ae
  Replies (40) Good night (6048) Bad night (534)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.

  (623): View more from Arizona

  Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.

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  (602): I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one. (623): Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully. http://tfl.nu/x05a
  Replies (36) Good night (4624) Bad night (570)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.

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  (970): you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake. http://tfl.nu/y1g9
  Replies (18) Good night (986) Bad night (4461)
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  (626): View more from California

  you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys

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  (626): you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys http://tfl.nu/7ncb
  Replies (17) Good night (4850) Bad night (664)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it

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  (412): you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it http://tfl.nu/8zt4
  Replies (15) Good night (7689) Bad night (1092)
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  (760): View more from California

  We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.

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  (760): We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again. http://tfl.nu/a0p6
  Replies (23) Good night (4366) Bad night (1327)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"

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  (+44): Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far" http://tfl.nu/vzxo
  Replies (7) Good night (4334) Bad night (897)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.

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  (609): I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke. http://tfl.nu/ibe5
  Replies (11) Good night (910) Bad night (3913)
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  (619): View more from California

  i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already

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  (619): i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already http://tfl.nu/q3zb
  Replies (39) Good night (2175) Bad night (4393)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP

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  (604): Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP http://tfl.nu/30gs
  Replies (6) Good night (3295) Bad night (802)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.

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  (403): Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon. http://tfl.nu/v8j0
  Replies (2) Good night (2047) Bad night (1023)
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  (903): View more from Texas

  He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding

  (541): View more from Oregon

  Can I have him when you're done?

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  (903): He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding (541): Can I have him when you're done? http://tfl.nu/4y2y
  Replies (14) Good night (3769) Bad night (761)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?

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  (304): Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved? http://tfl.nu/lfe1
  Replies (2) Good night (408) Bad night (257)
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  (716): View more from New York

  I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.

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  (716): I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow. http://tfl.nu/y8yu
  Replies (3) Good night (354) Bad night (168)

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