YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Randomize
