You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Randomize
