i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
