But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
