But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
