Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
