I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
