Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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