Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Randomize