I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
