the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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