Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
