the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
