Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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