So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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