Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize
