weddingsv make me drug and hornr
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I pour the whiskey from now on
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
