Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize