hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
