I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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