i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
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