i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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