I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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