It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Randomize