had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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