at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Come see our sink grown plant.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
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the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
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If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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