So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
