I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
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