I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
